In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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