My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
