there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
