I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
