How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize