This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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