She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
