Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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