the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
