wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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