you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
