Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you had me at cake vodka
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
