id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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