that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize