I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
