She said her name was "party"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
