i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
