I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just tell him i said nine months
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
