Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
