so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
