So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
