no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
