1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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