A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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