I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
