Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Buhtt sex?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
