dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was born a porn star she said
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize