Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
