Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
where am i from again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Oh god it's open bar.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
