Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
