I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
