We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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