Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
