its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
