So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
why is half of my head shaved?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
