you would pick up someone in the library
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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