dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
