Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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