so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
