I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
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my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
