tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
