i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
