JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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