i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
