who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
