By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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