I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
