Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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