You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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