I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
