singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
