party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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