hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
God, I missed his penis.
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