What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
