I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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