I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
