Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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