dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
