He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
