i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
