Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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