Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
